Forgiveness

If you remain angry, you’re inflicting new suffering on yourself.

Holding onto anger can lead to long-term health risks including high blood pressure, high cortisol levels and an increased risk of heart attack. In recovery, focusing on negative feelings and deep resentment keeps you feeling like you’re a victim and doesn’t allow you to enjoy the positive emotions. It can be challenging to forgive someone who’s wronged you, especially if that person is yourself. But learning how to forgive is an integral part of addiction recovery. Drug and alcohol abuse can lead to a lot of damage to your physical health and your relationships, job, finances, and overall sense of well-being. 

Forgiveness isn’t for others, it’s for you.

Forgiving someone doesn’t necessarily mean you need to invite them back into your life, in fact you may never want to have a relationship with this person again. On this level, forgiveness becomes a spiritual principle where you choose to no longer hold anger.

Resentment is strong, but forgiveness is a journey worth taking.

It can be hard to forget when someone has done us wrong; we always have the thought in the back of our mind that it could happen again. Forgiveness isn’t always about forgetting, but simply letting go of the anger and no longer wasting energy on the pain. If you’re carrying around a lot of anger and resentment, it can be tough to move on with your life. Forgiveness can help you let go of the past and focus on the present. It can also help reduce stress, anxiety, and depression.

Free your mind, body & spirit.

In addiction recovery, forgiveness is not only the right thing to do, it will also help you heal in mind, body and spirit.

Don’t forget to forgive yourself.

Lastly, forgiving yourself is the ultimate freedom. Allow yourself to move on from beating yourself up over past mistakes, shame, and guilt. Recognize that in your sobriety you are working every day to become a better person.

Forgiving someone isn’t always easy, but it’s important to remember that forgiveness is a choice. You don’t have to forget what happened or condone the behavior, but forgiving can help you move on with your life.

How to Forgive

1. Identify your pain.

Start by pinpointing the source of your hurt. Was it a failure, a missed opportunity, a heartbreak, a person who was mean to you, or someone who neglected you? Get to the root of your pain.

2. Acknowledge your hurtful emotions.

What are you feeling? Is it sadness, grief, anger, pity, or loneliness? Or is it something deeper like hate, disgust, jealousy, or depression? To get rid of the hurt, you need to acknowledge your feelings toward it.

3. Forgive yourself and let go.

Forgiveness starts from within. You were not the reason that someone hurt you. It's not your fault. You need to forgive yourself first before you have the capacity to forgive others. Only then are you able to let go of the negative emotions associated with the hurt caused by someone else.

4. Be compassionate.

Let compassion flow with yourself, then for the person who hurt you. You need to empathize with that person's motivations, emotions, and circumstances. You need to challenge yourself to put yourself in that person's shoes and view the situation from their perspective.

5. Forgive unconditionally.

Compassion and empathy materialize into action when you forget about the problem and move on to the solution of forgiveness. Give your forgiveness to that person, with no strings attached.

6. Be grateful.

Forgiveness is one of the most powerful ways to empower personal growth, both for the forgiver and the forgiven. When you let go of the burden of the hurt and all the negative energy of the emotions associated with the hurt, you are given the peace and freedom to live as a better version of yourself. You're also empowered to transfer that positive energy to the other person and people around you, so that they can become better versions of themselves.

7. Love again.

Forgiveness lets you love again. You are stronger because you love yourself and love others, no matter the magnitude of their shortcomings or transgressions. You forgive because you love, and you love because you forgive.