Grief in recovery

Grief in Recovery: 10 Ways to Cope and Stay Sober/Clean

Dealing with grief in recovery from addiction can be incredibly complex and challenging.

Many people may experience relapse due to grief being so consuming and painful, and feeling like they can't handle it. When we lose someone, we care about, the emotions are truly indescribable.

Read on to learn what grief looks like and discover our top 10 ways of dealing with grief in recovery whilst staying sober.

The 5 stages of grief

Grief can be caused by many things, including the death of a loved one or the end of a relationship. Grief presents itself in many ways and affects everyone differently. Generally, however, there are 5 stages of grief that we all move through.

The 5 stages of grief are as follows:

1. Denial. In this stage, you may deny that the loss has happened. You may experience feelings such as confusion, shock and numbness.
2. Anger. In this stage, we feel angry that the loss has happened. We can try to blame others, and even blame ourselves. We may have feelings of guilt, regret,      and shame.
3. Bargaining. In this stage, we remain in the past. We may often tell ourselves “what if I?.”. Or, “I should have”, thinking that if we did something to prevent      the loss or death, things would be different today.
4. Depression. In this stage, we experienced the devastating feelings of sadness,      emptiness and pain that come with a great loss.
5. Acceptance. In this stage, we accept that the loss has happened. This doesn't mean that we agree with the loss or necessarily feel good about it, but we are      in a state of acceptance that allows us to move forward and progress through our lives.

Working through grief is not a linear process, meaning that the stages of grief aren’t experienced in a single, straight line. Rather we bounce back and forth between varying stages or experience multiple stages simultaneously.

The goal, however, is to reach a place of acceptance.

Grieving while in recovery from addiction can be overwhelming. The intense emotions can make maintaining sobriety challenging, but with support and healthy coping strategies, you can navigate both grief and recovery successfully.

Here are 10 ways to help manage grief while staying sober:

1. Allow Yourself Time 

Grieving takes time, so allow yourself to feel and process emotions without rushing. If grief still affects daily life after a year, consider counseling for additional support.

2. Feel Your Emotions 

Rather than suppressing painful emotions, let yourself experience them. Facing feelings of sadness, anger, or pain will ultimately help them pass.

3. Avoid Triggers 

Stay mindful of places, people, and situations that may increase cravings or remind you of loss. Create a safe environment to process grief.

4. Stay Connected 

While it's natural to want solitude, avoid prolonged isolation. Reach out to friends, family, or support groups when you're ready.

5. Talk to a Professional 

A therapist or counselor can offer valuable perspectives and a safe space to work through difficult emotions.

6. Continue Treatment 

Stay engaged in your treatment or support groups, even if you need breaks. Being around others who understand grief in recovery can help lighten the emotional load.

7. Prioritize Self-Care 

Grief can drain your energy, so focus on basic self-care: eat well, rest, exercise, and engage in hobbies or activities that bring comfort.

8. Set Small Goals 

Goals, even small ones, can help you feel productive and create forward momentum as you process your grief.

9. Give Back 

Helping others, whether through small gestures or volunteer work, can be therapeutic and provide perspective.

10. Prepare for Trigger Dates 

Be mindful of significant dates, such as anniversaries, that may intensify feelings of loss. Acknowledge these times and prepare emotionally.

Remember: There’s no “right” way to grieve. Talk about your feelings, and seek help if grief becomes overwhelming. Embrace the process of honoring your loved one in a way that brings you peace. You can build a life that celebrates their memory and keeps you on a healthy, sober path.